Georgia on my mind

Georgia is the font I use for this blog.

Georgia is the font I haven't used for almost a year.

I don't know why I forget about this virtual place, about the importance of expressing myself... but I do.

And it shows in my singing, and I hate.

But I also should stop beating myself up for not being perfect all the time and not remembering these things.

I'm trying. I'm doing my best.

My new singing teacher is almost like a therapist to me: she seems to understand what I'm thinking, even when I'm not saying it.

She likes to go deep, she really cares about her students and it shows.

I don't know how, but she just gets it. And last time I saw her, I cried, because it frustrates me when I can't get something right, but she reminded me that it's a process and I need to keep going.

Her classes are hard, but I know that they are just what I need.

I need someone to push me, to make me notice things that no one has ever pointed out before, even if it hurts in that moment. Even (and especially!) when it feels uncomfortable.

Strangely, even after I cried, I can't wait to go back and sing again.

Last night I was with a couple of friends and they asked me to sing, and I felt nervous about it, so I kept my voice very low, but they reminded me that my voice deserves to be heard. That I'm good. That this is what I love and what I want to do.

I don't think they know that they helped me make this realization, but they did, and I'm thankful for them.

I just want to sing all day every day, and I want to improve, and I want to do this for the rest of my life.

I don't know

I don't know what to write.

I don't know how I feel.

But I would like to write how I feel.

I have just finished reading "Just Kids" by Patti Smith and some parts were so relatable.

I have also been reading some old things I wrote years ago, some quotes I saved... some of them still ring true, others I just deleted.

It's so easy to just click "delete" to get rid (hopefully!) of certain memories, sometimes I wish I could do the same with some people.

I'm thinking about quitting social media, for a while at least.

I don't know (again) if it's going to make me feel better, but I do know that I would like to waste less time on it.

Not necessarily to be productive or anything, just to do other things.

Things that I actually like.

Things that don't make me feel like shit.

I can't wait to go back to my apartment.

Can't wait to unpack, put everything in its place, and most importantly, breathe. Relax.

Something I haven't really been able to do lately.

This is not my house anymore.

I'm sorry, but it just isn't.

And this is probably why I cannot even sleep properly at night.

Wow, these were some pretty random thoughts.

Okay.

Bye.