Every time I hear that song

So I have been super into these amazing artists lately...
I am so incredibly late to the party but I've been listening to a lot of Margo Price, Maggie Rogers and... Brandi Carlile.
Also some Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker. And Maren Morris. And H.E.R. And I'm seeing Flo again this month.
It's all super exciting.
It's all super depressing.
Because I know, I know, I know I should be creating some music, but all I'm doing is be miserable and procrastinate by fake-watching Downton Abbey.

But these songs... oh man, these songs, by these fantastic ladies... they remind me that there's work to be done. That I love singing. And I love writing. And I love music. And I'm fucking good at it, no matter what anyone says. No matter who doesn't believe in me. No matter how they make me feel.

It's about how I feel when I'm in that moment. When I'm in that stupid class, when I'm in front of strangers, when I don't even know where I am, because I'm so focused on the lyrics.

And I know (or well, so I'm told) that I shouldn't focus on the lyrics, that I could even invent them, but how could I? When they're so perfectly capable of expressing feelings that I just couldn't even name until I heard those songs?

I still have my beloved Sam, and Adele, and Amy of course.

But these new discoveries opened up a whole new world for me. I can look different. I can start later. I can still do whatever I want to do. I only need to start.

And even though I want to be great at it (like I want to be great at every little thing I do), I need to remind myself of WHY. Why do I sing? Because I love it. I sang my heart out the other day, in the car, and it felt so good. Like a weight was lifted from my chest. And I don't care if I can't reach all the notes. I don't care if I can't sing like my teacher wants me to. I don't care if it sometimes is physically painful. I don't want to stop. Ever.

P.S: Brandi Carlile has one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard.